So my grandmother lives alone and she has dementia so every wednesday I go visit her and make sure she is alright. It is hard, and sometimes I wonder how beneficial it is to her, but it makes me feel better and I love the time I get with her. I also know even though she won’t remember I was there, she is happy while she is talking to me and her face lights up when she sees me walking in the house. Plus even though she probably won’t remember our visits, I will and I like our time together. Lately my boyfriend has been going with me, which makes it easier and my grandma loves him so I know she is happy when he is there with me. It means a lot to me that he takes the time to come with me.
It seems like lately when we visit, she is remembering some things. She tells me about some of the stuff she has done since the last time we were there. I don’t think she knows that I am there on a specific day but she does know I go see her regularly, I can tell by the way she talks sometimes. She tells us about her childhood and about what she has been up to. Even if it is a story I have already heard I listen anyway and act like it is the first time I heard it. I can tell some stories she tells aren’t stuff that is actually happening in her life but I just respond with “really? that’s cool” so she doesn’t get frustrated from not being able to remember things correctly. My grandma is very important to me, and it makes me sad when she is getting frustrated when she is trying to remember something. I am so afraid that one day I am going to walk into her house and she isn’t going to know who I am. I am also afraid of losing her, and I actually can’t decide which situation I am more afraid of.
Today I missed my grandma visit because one of my aunts invited her over for dinner. I am going tomorrow instead. I used to complain all the time about having to go over, today I really missed it.
ramblings52 